


’Friends’

by stargatefan_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor, Smarm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-27
Updated: 2004-06-27
Packaged: 2018-10-06 21:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10345176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stargatefan_archivist/pseuds/stargatefan_archivist
Summary: SUMMARY:   The story came to me this morning. I consider it smarm. Wanted a naked Daniel and had to find an excuse.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Yuma, the archivist: this work was originally archived at [Stargatefan.com](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Stargatefan.com). To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [StargateFan Archive Collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/StargateFan_Archive_Collection).

Stargate SG-1 Fanfiction - 'Friends'

Daniel woke with a severe headache, queasy stomach, and tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. His head felt like he was in a spinning helicopter. All the symptoms of a bad hangover. 

"Ohhhh, serves me right for drinking beer," he moaned covering his eyes with his hand from the light. "What time is it?"

He went to rollover but found the bed cramped. The shock brought his hand up. Looking to his left was the back of a couch. To the right was a coffee table. A familiar looking coffee table. 

"Jack?" he croaked.

Raising himself on one elbow, he looked around the room only to find it empty. When he slid his legs to the edge of the couch, he realized he was naked under the blanket. Dropping his head back down on the pillow, he shut his eyes in disgust. 'What the hell happen?' he thought. 

The aroma of coffee floated into the room drawing him back to reality. Gathering the blanket around him, he stood up. Steadying himself, he looked around for clothes and his glasses. Finding neither of them, he slowly started walking barefoot upstairs to the kitchen. Squinting from the light, he stood at the kitchen door to find Jack sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading a paper.

"Sleeping Beauty is up," Jack said rather gleefully. "Sit down. I'll pour you a coffee."

Daniel shuffled over to the vacant chair and sat down. Cupping his head in his hand, he moaned. Jack eyed him from the counter as he poured.

"If you're going to be sick, I'd appreciate you not doing it here."

"What happened last night?"

"Don't you remember?" Jack sat the coffee in front of him along with a bottle of aspirins.

"If I did I wouldn't be asking."

"Well, let's just say, I saw a side of you I never knew existed before."

"What?" Daniel answered bewildered.

"Feel up to eating something?"

Daniel only moaned again.

"Guess not."

"Where are my clothes?"

"On the dryer," Jack indicating with his coffee cup. 

Daniel looked over at the dryer to verify they were there. Only there were two folded stacks of clothes. Daniel frowned only more confused.

"Are those Sam's?"

"Uh huh."

"Jack, what happened?"

"Why don't we save explanations until Carter's up."

"Carter's up," Sam mumbled from the doorway dressed with a blanket wrapped in toga fashion around her similar to Daniel.

"Sleeping Beauty 2," Jack again said with much amusement. "Why don't I bring the pot over." 

Jack returned to the table with the coffeepot, a cup, and a mat to sit the pot on. Sam was already seated with her elbows on the table and both hands holding her head. 

"Better get some crackers too." Jack went looking through the cupboards. As his back was turned, he heard the aspirin bottle rattling.

"Just shoot me," Sam moaned.

"Come on Major. You act like you haven't had a hangover before," Jack replied as he sat back on his side of the table. He tore the package and sat the open crackers on the table.

"Hangover? Is that what this is? It feels like a Goa'uld hand device was used on my head."

Sam looked over at Daniel and noticed his condition. She became a little worried when she saw he was in a blanket too.

"Where are my clothes?" Sam asked in a panicked voice.

"Over on the dryer," Daniel responded.

"Who…What?"

"Have some coffee and make sure you can hold something down first, okay?" Jack mothered his two chicks. "I've already called the SGC to say you two won't be in. I'll be going in later."

"Sir, I really need to know what happened last night."

"The two of you really don't remember?"

Sam tilted her head as she thought about it. Her hair stood in spikes making her look like a punk rocker. Daniel nursed his coffee and squinted in thought.

"Did it rain last night?" Daniel asked.

"You could say that," Jack answered with a smile before taking a sip of coffee. Seeing that this conversation wasn't going anywhere, Jack decided it was time to tell them.

"Well, you remember why you came over last night right?" he began.

"We were having a 'Friends' party. We came over to watch the final episode together," Sam remembered.

"Personally, I never liked the show, but you asked to watch it on my big screen. You, Daniel, Teal'c and Ferretti made such a big deal about it that I let you come over when you promised to bring the food."

"But the only alcohol we had was beer."

"That's not quite true, Daniel. Remember the mellon balls, strawberries, and jello cubes Ferretti brought?"

"Ferretti," Daniel said slowly. "They…they were spiked?"

"Saturated."

"Why didn't you tell us Colonel?" Sam was holding her head up with one hand.

"I tried, but the two of you were far too gone. Remember when I tried taking the jar with the mellon balls away?"

"I held it to my chest and threatened to have Monica sit on you," Sam closed her eyes remembering.

"And that was within the first half hour of the show. Then there was Daniel doing his Joey imitation all night." "How you doin'." "Really annoying Daniel."

"Well, if the snacks were spiked, why don't you have a hangover?" Daniel defended himself.

"Cause I knew better. Someone was going to have to drive you two home."

"But that still doesn't explain the clothes or lack of," Sam asked suspiciously.

Jack sighed and poured more coffee into Daniel and Sam's cups. "After the show ended, I could pretty much pour you two into my truck. Teal'c drove Ferretti home."

Daniel frowned. "I don't remember the show ending?"

"Gee, I wonder why? Could it be because you were crying over the destroyed foosball?"

"They destroyed the foosball?" Daniel was shocked. "Wh-why would they destroy the foosball?"

Sam just closed her eyes and shook her head, listening to Jack's recount of last night's fiasco.

"To get the babies out…I think," Jack tried to recall. "But hey, I haven't got to the good part yet."

"There's more?"

"Oh much more," Jack smiled. "As I was heading over to Carter's house, and you two were going over your favorite top ten list of how stupid Ross is, we started to pass the St. George park."

"Oh my god," Sam moaned covering her face. "The fountain."

Jack laughed. "The fountain."

Daniel was still clueless.

"I think it was Daniel who jumped out first. You, Major, weren't far behind."

Daniel started to remember now. "I'm surprised we weren't arrested."

"Oh, but you were," Jack threw in. "Dancing, singing, making a public nuisance of yourself while inebriated is what the police officer said."

It was at this point; Jack pulled out two polaroid snapshots from his shirt pocket and slid them across the table. There they were soaking wet, smiles plastered on their faces standing with their arrest blotter in front of them. 

"Apparently, the police were pretty busy pulling a number of people from fountains last night. Anyway, the arresting officers were going to let you go, but 'Joey' here," Jack pointed to Daniel, "insisted on being taken in. They took mock pictures of you being arrested just to make you happy."

Sam stared at her picture not remembering a thing about it. "Does General Hammond know about this?"

"No. I talked to the police. They were pretty understanding."

"So, you brought us back here?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah, so I could keep an eye on you two." Jack noticed Sam's look of panic. "And, before you get any ideas, I had you to go into the guest room to change. When I came back with some dry stuff, you were already passed out in bed with your wet clothes on the floor. Daniel just simply passed out. Didn't even have time to take your clothes off."

Daniel and Sam looked at each other with some embarrassment.

"Thank you, Jack. It seems that we were a hand full last night."

"Thank you, sir."

"Isn't that what friends are for?"

**The End**

  


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> Author's Note: Thel for beta reading on the spur of the moment. Any errors are mine. Anyone wishing to archive please ask.

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>   
> © 2004 Stargate SG-1 is the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-1 Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fan fiction is meant solely for entertainment purposes. No money exchanged hands.

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